Mostly just for me

Remember how I tend to overshare everything in my life. Here we go again. 

So life. What a time, am I right. 

You know what I've learned about faith recently. It's okay if you want to quit. It's okay if life feels too heavy. It's okay if you have to talk yourself into going to church. Or leaving your bed in the morning. It's okay to not want to do the simple things that you know are important. It's okay to believed and still struggle.

Because no matter what Christ will still be there. Even if you want to quit. He still loves you. And sometimes we go into this survival mode and it's not until a while later that we see just how broken we might have really been. Or how hard we pushed ourselves when we didn't really feel like there was anything else to give. And he still loves us even when we don't make the best choices. Or when we have questions or doubts. 

That's the thing about Christ. His love doesn't come with conditions. And even a tiny piece of faith can bring the peace that we need. 

No burden is too heavy for him. And if we feel a little broken, that's okay. Christ loves broken things. Not fake things. Not "I'm fine things". Broken, struggling, just putting one foot in front of the other things. 

But the joy of his atonement is that we don't have to stay broken. In fact his promise is that of peace and healing. Of love and comfort. 

Real talk. There are times when I ask myself if being an active follower of Christ and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints is really worth it. But then this past weekend I was holding my friends hand while riding in an elevator to the top of the Empire State building, taking calming breaths and literally praying through my anxiety because of how scared I was to go to the top of the building and it hit me. I don't get to walk away from my faith and still reach for comfort when I'm scared. Or hurt. Or struggling. I don't get to try and have the blessings of following Christ, if I don't actually strive to follow him. 

Following Christ doesn't mean living a perfect life. It means living an incredibly messy life. One full of mistakes and upsets and stupid choices. It's screwing up sometimes. But striving to do a little bit better next time. 

I was for sure supposed to be writing a paper for one of my classes right now. But sometimes we really need a little bit of a kick in the pants when we least expect it. My paper was a self reflection and as I started to write it, this is what I wanted to write about instead. 

It's okay for life to be good and hard at the same time. We can find happiness and still be struggling. We can have faith and still need a little more. Just as long as we don't lose the faith we do have. 

God lives. His plan for us is beautiful. It rarely looks how we want it to, but if we put a little bit of trust in him, it works out. 

If you are feeling a little broken right now, it's ok. God is a God of miracles and nothing is beyond the scope of what he can fix. Of that I have faith. 

Love

Nae