God loves imperfect things

 What a time life has been for the past few years. 

In my life there are 3 main institutions or organizations that I would say shaped a rather large part of who I am. 

Public education - Really just schooling in any form 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

The United States of America

Those three things make me, me. And in my later adult years I feel like I've been slowly seeing the reality that none of those three things are perfect. They all have varying degrees of flaws. All three have wonderful things about them, but also pasts and histories that are frankly incredibly ugly at times. Like I always knew that public education was kind of a little bit of a mess but then I started studying for my masters degree and now I KNOW that it's kind of like a real mess. I don't even blame teachers who leave anymore. Sometimes I want to ask them what it's like on the other side. The murder of George Floyd was a real wake up call to me of how little I understood about what it must be like to be a person of color or minority in our country. I benefit from systems that were created by white people, for white people. And that doesn't make them inherently bad. It just means they can't help people they were never created to help. And the Church. I don't know if even typing out my feelings about church 'issues' would even be productive. Because there is soooo much that I love. but also a lot that isn't pretty. 

And I've had to ask myself, can I still love something that feels broken? Or that has caused so much harm and pain? Do I get to love it even when all I want to do is fix it? 

One thing that really hit me was as I was talking with a friend about my overwhelming sense of sadness in relation to literally all three of these things she said something that really hit me. She said, those sound like systemic problems, not you problems. 

I can't single handedly fix racism in America. I can't magically make teachers be respected and supported by legislators. I can't change history and the actions of others. It was never my job to do so. 

Then God taught me something that I think might just be life changing. I was driving in my car just thinking about life (this is what happens when you have a 45 minute commute.) So I'm in my car and I turn off the radio to just talk with God and maybe process through life. When all of a sudden I just have this overwhelming thought. God loves imperfect things. I mean he loves me, and I am FAR from perfect. He loves literally every single soul that has ever, is now, or will ever live on this earth. 

And if God is allowed to love imperfect things, then so am I. 

Because he doesn't just love imperfect things. He loves them enough to ask them to change. To expect them to change. He wants them to be the very best versions of themselves that they can. The foundation of the gospel is faith in Christ, and repentance. We believe in Christ, and then that belief causes us to want to change. Coming unto Christ changes who we are. He has the ability to change our actual nature. He perfectly loves imperfect things. But he also encourages them to be better. 

So that's what I've decided to do. I'm going to love the education system and know that it could be better. I'm going to love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and work to make it the most Christlike place I can. I can be proud to be and American and love the USA and still want it to change. I can love imperfect things. 

Because God does. 

I don't know if this helps anyone else who might be struggling with any of these issues. But I feel like this answer from God was something I have been searching for, for a very long time now. The permission to love the things that have shaped me into who I am, and still expect them to change and become more. It's not my job to fix the world. But it is my job to influence my own little sphere in this tiny corner of the world I occupy. 

We don't have to try and fix all the problems humanity is facing (even if you are a problem solver like me and really just want to). God doesn't expect that of us. He never asked us to. They are systemic problems, not you problems. Keep doing your small part. Do the best you can in the best way you know how. It may not matter to the whole world, but it will matter to someone. 

God love us. That I have no doubts of. And he loves imperfect things. Which I thank him for, literally every single day. 

Love, 

Nae