Courage to accept thy will

I'm about to be so cliche and start out with a story from my mission. But before you roll your eyes into the back of your head or stop reading just know that this story is more about what I learned in the moment and not really about missions or missionary work.

I was about 6 months into my mission and I had been serving in Grand Forks, ND the entire time. I was training a new missionary who was pretty much the opposite of me, very quiet and introverted, not one to speak up. Very sweet girl, but I remember thinking, Heavenly Father are you SURE this was the missionary you wanted ME to train? (if you were wondering the answer was yes and I learned so much from my time with her) We didn't have much work to do and having been in the area for as long as I had I was incredibly tired and sincerely didn't know what to do. 

One Sunday we are sitting in Sacrament meeting singing hymn 169 As now we take the sacrament. During the 3rd verse someone sitting behind me asked me something so I turned to answer. As I turned back the next line of the song hit my heart harder than any hymn ever has. It said,

For courage to accept Thy will, To listen and obey.

Tears began streaming down my face. In that moment I needed courage to accept what God's will more than I think I ever had before. The next line continues with a similar sentiment, "We love Thee Lord, our hearts are full, We'll walk They chosen way." 


Over the past 7 or so years since I had this experience this particular sacrament hymn continues to pop up on days when I truly need it the most. You know those Sundays when you barely manage to get yourself out of bed and to the church building. The ones where the weight of life just seems to be too heavy on your soul. Those days I will somehow get myself into a pew and more times that I can even remember the sacrament hymn will start and I immediately feel the love of my Savior. 


Today was one of those days. Life is heavy. Right now it is BEYOND heavy for a lot of us. I feel like I have been running on survival mode for the past 3 or so months. But today as I sat in my church building getting ready for the sacrament I got to sing those special words, "for courage to accept Thy will" 


The word that has always struck me the most in that line is courage. We often speak of faith, hope, and charity in the gospel. Those are the Christ like attributes we strive to have. But I think that having faith, hope and charity takes a lot of courage. A line from preach my gospel that I read not too long after that first sacrament meeting talks about what a successful missionary is. In speaking about how some people that we love and share the gospel with will reject the message it says, "You should not, however, become discouraged; discouragement will weaken your faith. 

As I read that I had to stop and really think about the word discouraged. I just now looked up the official definition and it says, having lost confidence or enthusiasm; disheartened

Being discouraged means that we have lost confidence. Which to me means that when we have courage we are exhibiting confidence in something. In this case God is asking us to have confidence that his will is what will be best for us. 

God and I have been working on this concept for a VERY long time. I tend to be a slight control freak and like things to be done the way I think they should be done. The unknown of 2020 has actually kicked my anxiety into high gear. But I now that if I can have a little courage, God will work out the rest. It's absolutely terrifying to give things over to the Lord, but I have come to see that when we do, He will make so much more of our meager offering than we would ever do on our own. 

How thankful I am that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and a Savior who gave his life for me. I have confidence that they know me, love me, and want what is best for me. And if it's true for me, I know that it's true for you too. 


May we all pray for a little courage,

Love,

Nae 


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