Nae's Thoughts

One time I was sitting in a seminary class and my teacher was letting us ask different questions that we have about the gospel. I don't remember what question I had asked, but I will never forget what a girl turned and said to me in response to my question, Maybe you just need to have a little more faith. Now I can tell you that in that moment I was NOT pleased with her answer. First of all having questions DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE NO FAITH. And I believe that just telling someone to have blind faith is a ridiculous answer. I'm 100% positive that what I said back to this girl in my head was NOT very Christ like. But I did manage to only say it in my head! So that's a win. Fast forward a few years to me sitting in the MTC gym watching general conference. Elder Holland (who just might possibly be my favorite apostle, ya know, if I happened to have a favorite.... ) was giving his talk. His talk hit me right in the feels. He said that what we DO know will always trump wha...

Do you ever just feel so incredibly alone? Like I know there are so many people in my life who love me and care for me, but still it just feels, alone. Do you ever just wonder about that word? Alone. I do. To me it's the worst feeling there is. For a long time I thought that the reason I was feeling so alone was because I wasn't married. But you know, I don't think that's the only reason. I think that everyone feels alone sometimes. Even people who are married and have children. It's those moments when you just want someone to look at you and let you know that it's all going to be okay. It's not always a supreme sadness, sometimes it's anger. Maybe even a bit of a numbness. But always a feeling deep in the soul. Alone. Then I look at my life and I see my amazing parents who would do anything for me. I see siblings who care so much. I hear the cries of Aunt nae! and feel little arms wrapped around me. I go to work and see my amazin...

Let's be real, being a girl can totally suck sometimes. Do your hair, wear cute clothes, don't look like a clown when you try to wear make-up. Ate too many donuts and now your kinda chubby. The list could go on and on and on, each of us adding something different based on our own personal life and struggles.  My list would include,  stop being so loud learn how to flirt ya loser exercise, not extra fries stop looking like a hobo in public you don't ALWAYS have to win   Can we take a second and talk about insecurities? Because we ALL have them. The above mentioned list is an example of a few of mine. Growing up I often let my insecurities define me. When I was about 15 I made a choice in my life. I decided that I was so sick and tired of trying to fit in all the time. I had spent all of Jr. High trying to be someone that I thought people wanted me to be, and never felt like I was good enough. Around this same time my parents gave me a choice. They...

I have grown up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I believe in it with all of my heart and soul. But sometimes I struggle.  I don't have a problem with necessarily people, I have an issue with culture. The culture that exists in Utah. Now don't get me wrong, I am an active member of my church. I attend my meetings and all the activities. I know and love many amazing people who live right here in this great state of Utah. But sometimes I think that we confuse doctrine with culture. And that breaks my heart. Let me give you an example. Young woman and higher education. From the time we are young we are taught that the most important calling we can have in life is to be a wife and a mother. Now don't get me wrong, I do believe that. I believe in the doctrine of the family.  But God helped me see that things are different than maybe I believed. Now going to college has never been something that I doubted. I always knew that I would go. But ...

If you would have asked me what my life was going to look like when I was 18 and just getting ready to graduate high school I would have said the following, 18-19 Freshman in college, have fun, be crazy. 20- 21 start dating a boy 22 get married and graduate college 22-25 be happily married and teach kindergarten 25 start having babies 25-35 have approximately  6 children maybe work party time 40-60 teach full time while finishing raising my family 60+ retired and enjoy my life as a mom and eventually grandma Not that I thought about it a lot or anything...... Well God had a little bit of a different plan for me. and by a little bit different I mean the only thing I managed to get right is that I do in fact teacher Kindergarten. So what happened? Why am I not happily pregnant with my first baby right now like my little 18 year old self planned? Well you see God had a different plan for me. One that, if we are being honest here, hasn't exactly been easy, or what I ...